How Kaiser Permanente’s unlawful harassment got me 1500 bonus Amex points…

Here’s a manufactured spend trick for you:

• Step 1: come home to find your wife seriously ill
• Step 2: call 911 in a panic
• Step 3: spend most of the night in the ER thanking whoever the fuck your atheist ass can thank that she’s okay
• Step 4: NEVER GET A BILL MAILED TO YOU BECAUSE KAISER PERMANENTE IS A KAFKAESQUE NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH YOU WILL NEVER WAKE UP
• Step 5: Get a bill from a collection agency, because Kaiser turned your account over to collections less than two months after the original incident and after telling you multiple times over email and in person that they haven’t generated a bill for you yet
• Step 6: Immediately pay the collection bill, because your credit is now at risk due to Kaiser unlawfully harassing you into paying a debt before it’s due
• Step 7: Rake in the points, because for some reason the collection agency is a small business in Amex’s eyes and you get double points at small businesses through the end of the year. (I’m sure this collection agency is a real mom & pop shop, too – just a guy named Sal, his wife Rose, and their trusty lead pipe Larry.)

RINSE, REPEAT! I’m kind of shocked no other blogs have written about this yet, but at least that will keep it from getting squashed like all the other good manufactured spend outlets. Let me know in the comments if you’ve become gravely ill and leveraged this amazing opportunity as well.