Category Archives: Uncategorized

Last updated 3/21/18 to add British Airways and KLM.

I had this idea a while ago and never got around to putting it into practice – basically, I want to keep a running list of all the long haul premium seats I’ve sat in, ranked in order of preference. One reason for this is that I just like making lists and rankings (I’m pretty sure most people in this hobby have at least a low-level fetish for spreadsheets and other types of data organization). More than that, though, I care vastly more about the seat than any other aspect of the premium experience. What’s more, the seat is most consistent aspect of that experience, so I think it’s the most useful from a review perspective. Flight crews can make the difference between an exceptional flight and a downright irritating one, and food can vary considerably from flight to flight, but in both cases it’s luck of the draw. On the other hand, the seat is the seat no matter what, so as long as you know what plane you’re on, you at least know what to expect in that department.

Relative comparisons are the most useful to me as well, which is why I think it would be fun to make a master list that ranks every premium seat, and I’ll keep adding to it when I take more flights. Because I only take a trip or two a year, it will grow slowly, so you don’t have to worry about me spamming you every other week with a new entry to the list. For more info about each product, click through to my full review of each one (except United p.s.).

I also encourage you to get really mad about the rankings, since nothing brings out the ire of anonymous internet people like raking something too high or too low. Disagree? Go back and read the comments on my “best non-first class way to cross the country” post, in which my raking of United at #5 out of 6 really pissed someone off (for being too high, mind you). Without further ado, here we go…

1. British Airways First Class (787-9). Like you had any doubt this would “unseat” United (ha ha ha) for the top spot. I loved everything about this seat. It’s comfortable to sit on and wide enough to feel like you have a significant amount of space to yourself. There’s a ton of storage. The TV screen is enormous, with tons of movies and TV shows. And as the cherry on top, the overall design of the suite is stunning, with luxurious little touches everywhere. The only thing that would make it better would be if BA spaced the suites out a tiny bit more so that each one was a full rectangle, rather than one slightly poking into the one in front of it. I guess if I had a wish list, I’d put a door on there as well, but as I mentioned in my review, I felt these were plenty private.

2. United Global First (777-200). “He’s bad, but he’ll die… so I like it.”  It’s ugly, but it will be gone soon… so this doesn’t really matter. But goddamn if it isn’t comfortable, even before United lays out the Polaris bedding (which doesn’t count in this ranking anyway). Plus, there’s almost an entire overhead bin’s worth of storage in and around the seat. I’m also impressed how much I liked the seat given its advanced age – I can only imagine how comfy these puppies were when they were new. The disadvantages are a lack of privacy (not that it matters all that much in an eight person cabin), a slightly annoying herringbone angle to the seat, and a dated TV screen. I like the new Polaris seat, but no more Global First is a bummer. A fancy Polaris-ized version of this seat would be fantastic.

3. SAS Business Class (A340, bulkhead). People complain about the Thompson Vantage XL seat for being coffin-like, but on SAS, the bulkheads offer significantly more personal space. It almost feels like a first class suite in the amount of space you get – the only drawback is that you’re right on the aisle, and as a bulkhead seat, you’ll get a fair amount of foot traffic going past you on the way to the bathrooms (not to mention some galley noise). I wasn’t bothered at all by that, but I was enchanted by the high-res video screen, the overall design of the cabin, the seat’s various nooks and crannies for storage, the adjustable firmness of the cushion, and the fact that seat 9H gives you a great view of the A340’s wing and engines.

4. United Polaris (777-300, bulkhead). Two United seats in the top three?! I must be on their payroll and/or crazy. Part of that is probably due to the limited sample size and the fact that I haven’t flown most people’s overall favorite products (Cathay Pacific, Etihad, etc). But if you put aside the frankly irrational amount of hate some people have toward United, I don’t think you can deny that Polaris is a nice seat. It’s not perfect, but it manages to be incredibly private and reasonably spacious while also being fairly dense. This is another product where seat selection matters, but a window seat in the bulkhead is a great place to be, mostly due to the increased size of the footwell. The drawbacks include an inconveniently-placed cutout in the leg rest that caused my leg to slide off when in recline mode and a recline button (well more accurately a wheel) that’s easy to hit with your knee on accident. Storage is also kind of tight, although you do get a cabinet with a door and a decent nook underneath the foot rest. Plus, while it doesn’t factor into the physical comfort of the seat, the design of the cabin is gorgeous.

5. SWISS Business Class (777-300, throne seat). This is another one that’s very dependent on your seat selection. Specifically, you need to pay $200 to upgrade to a throne seat – otherwise you’re probably best off trying to find a better flight (unless you’re going to Zurich and want to fly direct). But the throne seats are wonderful bastions of privacy, and the insane amount of storage is great to have. They are a little coffin-like in bed mode, but despite the smaller-than-average footwell, I didn’t have a problem getting comfortable (and my feet are pretty big). This is another seat that gets an A+ for design, as well. Well maybe not an A+, but at least an A. They’re nice looking seats, that’s what I’m trying to say.

6. JetBlue Mint Suite (A321, throne seat). This is the same seat as Swiss plus a door and a shittier TV, minus a bunch of storage space and fancy finishing materials. I like the seat for sure, but I do think the door is kind of a gimmick that doesn’t give you all that much more privacy. I’d certainly trade the door for SWISS’s inflight entertainment, since JetBlue’s screens are smaller and pretty low-res. (Plus, you’re mostly limited to DirecTV, since their on-demand options suck.) The whole Mint experience is a lot more than the seat (amazing flight attendants and food, specifically), but while the seat is industry-leading for domestic flights, there are other longhaul products I prefer over it.

7. KLM Business Class (787-9). I wanted to like KLM so much more than I actually did. The cabin finish is pretty smart, and the seats check all the boxes (all aisle access, flat bed, lots of foot room, easy to look out the window), but something about it felt a little cramped. I put it ahead of Delta for a few reasons: there’s a storage cabinet, the seat is a little plusher to sit on, and the cabin looks way cooler. I’m not sure, but I think the TV was the same size and resolution, but it may have been a little bigger. The only downside vs. Delta is the leg-rest vs. footrest issue. On KLM, the leg rest is a separate fixture, whereas on Delta, the leg rest is part of the seat, which is preferable for lounging.

8. Delta One (A330). Okay, so this is supposed to be a great seat, because it’s in a reverse herringbone configuration, and that’s universally agreed to be the best. The problem is that it’s a really poorly executed iteration of this configuration. First, there’s almost no storage at all, so things slide around the console next to you any time there’s any movement in-flight. Second, because the A330 isn’t that wide, the seat itself is somewhat narrow, and I constantly hit my elbow on the privacy shield along the aisle when I was trying to turn around. The seat is also pretty hard, so despite the nice blanket you get, it’s not very comfortable for sleeping. The TV is okay – it’s not as crisp as on United or Swiss, but Delta has really good programming, and it gets the job done just fine.

9. United p.s. (757). This was my first flatbed seat, and I did like it. The seat itself is very comfortable, but the configuration just has too many drawbacks to rank any higher. There’s very little storage aside from a little compartment behind your head, the footwell is small, and most importantly, there isn’t aisle access from each seat. I always take the window seat, which meant that I had to engage in some Cirque-du-Soleil style contortionist moves in order to get out to use the bathroom mid-flight. I don’t like having to choose between my beloved window seat and access to the bathroom, so any cabin that doesn’t offer full aisle access is going to rank lower on the list.

So that’s the list for now…  Is your blood boiling after reading my rankings and rationalizations? I sure hope it is! The next update will be toward the end of the year, when I can add Emirates A380 and American A321 first class.

 

We’ll start with the stuff that will be of interest to churners: I may have snagged a 5000 mile redemption bonus on the Korean Air Skypass Visa I applied for last year. I don’t get any value out of the card, so the $80 annual fee is a waste of money… the only reason to keep it open is to keep me eligible for the US Bank Altitude card that I may apply for later this year (although $80 for the option to apply for a card is a dumb expense).

You do get 2000 miles on your cardmember anniversary, so add the 5000 mile bonus onto that and I’m basically buying 7000 Korean Air miles for 1.14 cents each. I’m okay with that, given the small ancillary benefit of being able to get the Altitude if I want it.

The retention call was kind of funny, though. The first person I spoke to said that the only offer she could see was a 6-month reduction in my APR, which was obviously useless to me. I thanked her and asked to be transferred to the retention department, and she transferred me to Korean Air’s reservations line. Hang up call back, amirite? The second rep said she could give me 2500 miles or the APR reduction, but that I could talk to a supervisor if neither of those worked for me. I asked for the supervisor, who then said she’d give me 5000 miles right away, no strings attached. That’s what I was hoping for, since I’m consumed with the minimum spend on my SPG Business card for the next few months, so I accepted the offer.

The funny thing was how she described it — she was so flippant about adding the miles to my account that I wondered if she was being serious. I kind of imagined her sarcastically pantomiming as she told me she was putting the miles into my account as if to underscore that she was doing the exact opposite. She said the miles would post immediately, and of course they haven’t, but I’ll give it a few days before I call back. And with no documentation whatsoever, I don’t have much of a leg to stand on if I call back next week and get told that there’s no such thing as a retention offer. We’ll see.

I decided to make a questionably funny joke about it on Twitter, and I specifically didn’t tag US Bank in the post, since I didn’t want to bother them with my “comedy routine.” That didn’t stop this exchange from happening, though:

I find this so annoying, but it’s not US Bank’s fault. Twitter started as a great medium to get quick service from companies with impenetrable automated phone systems, but the expectation (and then demand) for immediate responses has led to companies having no choice but to hire support staffs that do nothing more than respond instantly, regardless of the original question. It’s about as useful as that annoyingly-affected automated voice saying, “I-I-I’m sorry, I-I-I did’t quite get that” as you scream “AGENT!” louder and louder into the phone.

So now we live in a world where companies care more about responding instantly than they care about responding to the actual question. Shitty consumers have backed them into this corner, since everyone wants to be the next viral sensation with their “OMIGOD I TWEETED AT DELTA 15 MINUTES AGO AND THEY IGNORED ME #BOYCOTTDELTA #DELTASUX #NOFILTER #BLESSED #SARAHPALIN #DELTA” bullshit.

I’ve seen this at work, where people tweet complaints at my company even though we have an extremely responsive customer service manager who spends half her day emailing people who have questions. The Twitter customer could take a few minutes to write an email and they’d get a personalized response, but it’s easier just to barf some stupid tweet complaining about how they’ll NEVER BUY ANYTHING FROM YOU AGAIN #YOUSUCK. It drives me nuts, so I don’t blame companies like US Bank going out of their way to avoid making me wait more than 15 seconds for a response.

Which isn’t to say that Twitter support is always bad, only that people are assholes and have forced it to be bad. Just recently, I needed help changing an American reservation, and the Twitter rep did it for me immediately after I made the request and DM’d my confirmation number. It was super easy, and I was happy that American has invested so many resources in their Twitter support channel. I kind of feel like that’s more the exception than the rule, though. The majority of the time it’s just this response-for-response’s sake faux-communication (fauxmunication?) that only reinforces the fact that corporations may be made up of people, but they sure aren’t human.

 

 

If you’ve poked around the blogosphere at all today, you’ve probably noticed that IHG is selling points with a 100% bonus until March 22nd. It’s a pretty good deal if you need to top up your account, but at 1/2 cent per point, you’re getting them for pretty much what they’re worth (unless you have a specific redemption in mind at a place like the Indigo in Milan or the Intercontinental Amsterdam, where you can get closer to a full cent).

What I found weird this time around, though, is that the pricing changes based on the amount of points you buy. It’s not unusual for the percentage bonus to go up the more you buy — that’s why I never buy points during those “Alaska is offering a 500% bonus on purchased miles!” sales, since you need to spend like $25,000 on miles in order to get the full bonus. However, I can’t recall IHG ever adjusting the cost of the points themselves, rather than the bonus percentage. It creates some weird anomalies in the pricing:

It looks like the price breaks are at 10,001 and 25,001 points, starting at 1.35 cents per point and dropping down to 1 cent (and with the 100% bonus, those prices are cut in half).

I’ve also noticed discrepancies in the maximum points offered, with some people (myself included) seeing 60k + 60k as the most you can buy and others topping out at 58 or 59. You do need to log in to purchase points, so there could be an element of targetedness (targetitude?) in play here, although I don’t know why they would bother with the hassle of determining which users to target when it only concerns a difference of a few thousand points.

Anyway, no huge revelations here, although if this is a new thing, I wonder if it signals a devaluation coming… and not just a category reassignment, but a Hilton-style revamp of the redemption side. Hopefully not, and this is just another way to encourage people to max out the bonus rather than making small purchases. I should also note that IHG messes around with stuff like this pretty often, whether it’s offering increased value for points-and-cash redemptions or adding additional points-and-cash options. As a result, I’m not exactly surprised by the sudden (is it sudden?) dynamic pricing on point purchases, although it did seem interesting enough to post about.

Did anyone else see anything weird when they looked at their offer? Maybe there’s a hidden message in there, and the first person to decode it will get to call Crispin Glover to tell him what it is.

 

Business class in Europe is generally horrible, since almost every airline (save for some outliers like Turkish and Aeroflot) blocks the middle seat, hands you a meal, and calls it “business class.” It makes you realize we’re kind of spoiled in the US with our reasonably priced 2×2 domestic first class, since Eurobiz is also often 4-5x the cost of an economy ticket. Of course, the average length of intra-Europe flights is so short that the lack of comfort isn’t a huge deal, and airlines like the setup because it’s super flexible. (They can increase or decrease the number of business class seats simply by moving the curtain between business and economy forward or backward.)

Because the seat is such a joke, European airlines tend to provide a better soft product, usually including lounge access and a meal that’s generally better than what you find on US airlines (although that’s debatable and depends on the US airline/route). Some airlines don’t even bother to block the middle seat, like SAS, whose SAS Plus cabin is identical to economy and only includes things like paid seat assignments, meals, lounges, and so on. SAS Plus is often cheaper than other Eurobiz products, but it goddamn well should be given that you’re going to have someone in the middle seat next to you. Or at least, you theoretically might — on my recent SAS flight, the first ten rows were dedicated to SAS Plus even though there were all of five passengers. It was super weird — rows 3 – 10 were completely vacant, and the back half of the plane was completely full. (I’m still mad at SAS due to them dicking me over with my seat assignments on that flight, so I’m in the mood to criticize them.)

On this trip, we had to get from Copenhagen to London for our flight back to California, and I was able to book the entire itinerary on British Airways. This actually saved me a ton of money, since the mileage price through Alaska was the same, and the surcharges were cut in half ($250 vs $500 per ticket) compared to if we started our itinerary in London. Given that, I wasn’t too disappointed about the shitty flight, since it’s not often that I fly routes that give me back money. Can I really talk about how it was a bad value when they basically paid me $250 to take the flight?

It wasn’t a good flight, though. It was on an A319 (which the captain called “our humble little A319” when he gave the pre-flight announcement), and the legroom was more constrained than the previous three economy flights I had taken (all of which featured the same Recaro slimline seat). The pitch was probably equivalent, but without the knee cutout in the Recaro seat, I had to be careful not to bang my knees.

As you can see, the seat still included the middle-seat table (which isn’t long for this world), although I don’t see it as a major downgrade to get rid of it. I would have rather raised the armrest and colonized the middle seat with my ass than had a place to put my drink that didn’t require me to lower my tray table. I mentioned to Justine that people were mad about the table going away, and she said, “Why can’t they just lower the tray table on the middle seat in front of them? It sounds like people complaining for the sake of it.” Basically, if you’ve complained about the table going away, my beloved wife just put you on blast.

Due to winds, our flight time was shorter than normal, although it was a pretty smooth flight after we fought through the weather in Copenhagen. I love how the seatbelt sign goes off as soon as it smooths out on European flights, rather than staying on until the plane gets to cruise altitude. I always leave my belt fastened (as one should), but something about the sign going off lowers my flight anxiety a tad, even though it’s not uncommon for it to go back on a couple minutes later when it gets rougher than the crew anticipated.

The two other benefits to Club Europe were the meal and the Fast Track invitation for immigration. I totally forgot about this latter benefit, but it ended up saving us tons of time, since the lines at immigration in London were really long. Plus, our baggage came out first, so we were on our way to the hotel while economy passengers were still in line at immigration.

The meal was actually pretty good, not that I had much of a need to be fed on a 90-minute flight. But I appreciate the trio of hummus-ish spreads, and if I didn’t hate olives, I would have happily cleared my plate. The flight attendants were pretty nice too, come to think of it.

So here’s a hypothetical question: which would you prefer in my situation? To refresh your memory, I had a 4 1/2 hour layover in Copenhagen (since I didn’t want to cut it close and take a chance on the Faroese weather) before my BA flight, which was under two hours. Would you have preferred United’s domestic first class, keeping in mind that United wouldn’t have given you lounge access or food on board?

It’s mostly made moot by the fact that Priority Pass offers a number of lounge options at CPH, including the Eventyr lounge, which is what BA uses. However, the reason I ask the question is that I like to think about the end-to-end travel experience that an airline offers, and for a flight this short and a layover this long, I feel like I might even prefer the Euro option (again assuming a scenario in which I wouldn’t have had access to the Eventyr lounge given the US option).

Mostly I just find it interesting that European airlines conceptualize the business class experience differently, focusing more on efficiency and comfort at the airport than on the planes themselves. Eurobiz is obviously shitty, though, so I guess the pre-flight perks are probably just a way to do some handwaving around the terrible on-board product.

Finally, all the complaining in the world doesn’t really matter, since Eurobiz is a necessary evil unless you want to route through Moscow or Istanbul (which I don’t). I wish BA offered comparatively more comfort, since their flights tend to be a little longer than other European carriers, but I should know by now not to wish for much from BA. I mean, they did offer more comfort in the past with their weird winch seats that could be adjusted to squeeze the middle seat (making the aisle and window seats wider in the process), but they got rid of those in favor of the current product.

Clearly there’s no one out there who likes Eurobiz, but am I grasping at straws trying to find positives about it, or have you had positive experiences with certain products (or certain aspects of certain products) too?

 

This post is a continuation of my first post about the Faroe Islands, titled “Some tips on traveling to the Faroe Islands from someone who went there one time and thus is obviously an expert.” Our first trip back in 2016 was only for a few days, and from the moment we left, we had been looking forward to coming back for a longer stay. This time we were there for eight days, and I want to report back some of my thoughts now that I’ve spent a little longer there.

Up front, I’ll admit that we’re already planning our next trip, hopefully for a couple weeks. We had wondered if we’d get bored or sick of it after a week there, but we most definitely did not. I can’t quite articulate while I love it so much, and of course your milage may vary. The combination of absolutely jaw-dropping scenery, isolation, ease of getting around, and dramatic weather all combine to make for a very relaxing vacation that simultaneously feels like an epic adventure. Those two things don’t usually coexist in the same trip, but somehow it works in the Faroes.

This post will probably be more travel diary than tutorial, but as tourism ramps up in the Faroes, I figured my observations could be useful to anyone who might be curious about going there. If you’ve been seeing more travel journalism about the Faroe Islands lately, you’re not alone — Visit Faroe Islands (the national tourism agency) has been doing a great job raising the islands’ profile, and locals expect it to become the next Iceland over the next five years. That being said, it’s not as if the country is wall-to-wall gawkers with selfie sticks… We were definitely visiting outside of the high season, but over the week we were there, we encountered a whole six other tourists.

I’ve read a couple articles decrying the “Instagram tour” of the Faroe Islands – the waterfall at Gásadalur, the Kallur lighthouse, the church at Saksun, etc. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with limiting your stay to a couple days and hitting the main sites. Not everyone is going to fall in love with the place like I have and want to wander aimlessly for weeks at a time, and there’s a reason these places are the greatest hits. Sure, ideally you’ll get off the beaten path, but if you’re in the Faroe Islands in the first place, your path is already relatively unbeaten.

SAS vs. Atlantic Airways: Which one to choose?

Now that SAS flies to the Faroes from Copenhagen, I wanted to compare them to Atlantic Airways (the Faroe Islands’ flag carrier). I posted a full review of Atlantic Airways during the trip, although I’m not going to bother doing the same for SAS. I wouldn’t stress yourself out too much trying to decide which one to fly, since they’re pretty similar in terms of onboard comfort. That said, Atlantic does have some advantages over SAS… First, it’s usually cheaper, and extras (seat selection, baggage, etc) are cheaper too. Atlantic’s on-board service includes free soft drinks, and SAS only gives you free coffee or tea. The service on both is fairly indifferent, but not being Faroese or Danish probably played a part in that.

I should also note that Atlantic almost never cancels flights, whereas SAS has canceled their daily flight a handful of times already this year. Atlantic has more frequencies to Copenhagen, although the timing of the SAS flight worked better for us on this trip. Here’s a little slide-show of photos I took on SAS:

 

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The best thing about SAS’s seat compared to Atlantic is the USB outlet, which is pretty handy. Otherwise, the seat is the exact same Recaro slimline model. Oh, one other thing about SAS: their duty free catalog has this weird “Bukowski” stuffed animal. Does Bukowski mean something else to Scandinavian folks, or did they name a stuffed toy cat after Charles Bukowski? I was curious, but I didn’t want to blow 4500 EuroBonus points on this thing.

I had originally selected a seat on SAS that was just in front of the wing, since I wanted to take a video with the same perspective as the approach video I shot. Unfortunately, SAS canceled my seat assignment without telling me (due to a schedule change), and they’re making it a real pain in the ass to get refunded. I’m still going around with them about it. In my opinion, if I pay for the seat, they should honor it or refund my money, but SAS’s customer service is more of the “f-you, it was non-refundable and we don’t have to honor shit” variety. It’s 30 Euros I’d really like to have back, so I’m still annoyed about it. Long story long, in the video I shot of the take-off, I’m sitting right on the wing instead of just in front of it. Because I’m mad at SAS, the free advertising they get from the giant winglet billboard bugs me too.

One other thing to note: despite SAS serving FAE, Star Alliance booking engines still don’t recognize it as a destination. United recognizes FAE when you enter it on the search page, but it can’t find any flights there. I wish this would change, since it would be nice to get from the US to the Faroes on a single itinerary.

On the loyalty program front, SAS of course earns points in their EuroBonus program, or you can credit the flight to a Star Alliance partner for a handful of miles. Atlantic flights used to earn EuroBonus points, but they’ve recently started up their own loyalty program that I joined just for the hell of it. Regardless, the earning is so paltry that miles/points aren’t really a reason to choose one over the other.

 

For the love of god, please rent a car and explore!

If I were going to give someone a single tip, it would be to RENT. A. CAR. The roads are in great condition, and pretty much every road is the most scenic road you’ve ever driven on. I mean…

The snowy weather we had during the trip made some of the narrower mountain roads pretty harrowing, but it wasn’t that bad. Plus, our rental car was one of the few cars we saw around the islands with studded tires, which I appreciated more and more as the trip went on.

Speaking of the rental car, I can’t recommend Unicar.fo highly enough. I wasn’t aware of them during our first trip, so I ended up using Sixt (who, along with Avis and a couple others subcontracts the rentals to Faroese company 62 North). It was over $100 per day for an automatic transmission (I’m lame and never learned to drive stick), which I wasn’t looking forward to on an eight day trip. Unicar came in around half that, and I was able to set the whole thing up over email before the trip. They emailed me a few days before I arrived with instructions on how to pick up the car, so I was able to hit the road straight from baggage claim, without having to wait in line to check in at the desk.

Our agenda for this trip was pretty much just to drive around, and it was everything we hoped for. We hit some of the same spots we went the first time, since they looked much different in the snow. My favorite place in the Faroes is still Viðareiði — I even learned how to pronounce it this time (it’s kind of like “Vee-yah-rye-yah” but you roll the “r”). The snow had melted somewhat by the time we made it out there, but it was still insanely dramatic.

Renting a car also enables you to stay in a small village rather than in Tórshavn. Nothing against Tórshavn, but we both feel that the point of the Faroes is the scenery and the isolation that the little villages provide, so we’ve never felt a big pull to stay in the capital, even though it’s a vibrant, picturesque mini-city.

AirBNB has really taken off in the last couple years, too. When we first went, all the AirBNB listings were concentrated in the main towns (Soravágur near the airport, Tórshavn, and Klaksvík) except for a few places scattered around the islands. Now, it’s possible to find an empty house pretty much anywhere (although not in Viðareiði just yet — it’s on my wishlist for next time), and after spending a week in the tiny village of Elduvík (population 16), I’m even more resolute in my affinity for the AirBNB route. Even if you prefer the hospitality offered by a hotel, I really encourage you to spend a couple nights in a village, since the experience is totally unique.

Get up close and personal with the scenery.

Unlike a lot of places, you can see most of what the Faroes have to offer from the car. It’s not necessary to hike into the interior of the islands to get the best scenery, although leaving the car behind and immersing yourself in the Faroese wilderness is an experience like nothing else.

I arranged a guided hike with Pól Sundskarð, who runs the Hiking.fo site and offers guided trips throughout the islands. It wasn’t cheap (2500 DKK for the day, although I think that can be split among multiple people), but I had such an amazing time, I didn’t care. Plus, and I say this with no exaggeration, if I had tried to do this hike by myself, I would 100% be a frozen corpse on a Faroese mountain right now.

Our original plan had been to hike to the Enniberg sea cliffs above Viðareiði, although the weather wasn’t cooperating, so we agreed the day before to switch to a hike above/around the little village of Tjørnuvík. Tjørnuvík is one of the most scenic spots in the Faroes, since it is surrounded on three sides by mountains and sits at the end of a scenic beach that overlooks the famous sea stacks near Eiði.

The hike basically climbed up from Tjørnuvík to the ridge of the mountain directly behind it, and from there we planned to hike out to a scenic overlook. However, once we got up to around 500 meters, we were in full whiteout conditions, with stronger wind than I’ve ever experienced in my life. There were times where I had to turn my back to the wind and dig my trekking poles into the ground to avoid being knocked over. I had to make sure to keep up with Pól, since if he got too far ahead of me, I wouldn’t have been able to see him. (I should note that he’s a very professional guide, so he never would have let this happen.)

Our planned return route was blocked by weather, so we considered heading to Saksun instead, although the conditions were too dangerous for that route as well. It was funny that Pól asked, “is this okay with you?” whenever he suggested we not take routes that were too dangerous, since I was already so far out of my comfort zone that I didn’t even want to think about what “too dangerous” entailed. For instance, here’s a photo he took of me hiking up a steep, wet pitch without a defined trail. One slip and I would have fallen quite a ways.

There were definitely times where I had to push past my fear of heights, but that only added to the exhilaration once I was able to admire the scenery from the altitude I had gained.

Finally, here’s a quick panorama video I shot after we descended back out of the whiteout.

Okay, thanks for indulging my vacation photos. The point of all this is that a) I highly recommend venturing into the Faroese wilderness on foot if you can, and b) hire Pól as a guide, since there’s a very real chance you’ll die if you go off hiking on your own. (Seriously, there are tourist deaths every year due to people underestimating the terrain and/or the weather.)

The one main guidebook for the Faroe Islands overclaims how “extreme” they are.

I realize this probably contradicts some of what I’ve written, but one thing I’ve noticed about the Bradt guide to the Faroe Islands (which is the only one published in English) is that the author really wants you to know that the Faroes are extreme in every way. Sure, the first time I flew in I went through the strongest turbulence I’ve ever experienced, but it was only marginally worse than turbulence above Seattle a couple months later, so it’s not like it’s a unique global phenomenon.

The wind is strong, but the wind is strong in Wellington, New Zealand too. The weather is pretty nuts, but it was actually around 10-15 degrees warmer there than it was in Amsterdam. It’s remote, but it’s a two hour flight from mainland Europe, so you aren’t actually that far from “civilization.” (That’s in quotes because obviously the Faroe Islands is civilized. I only point this out because I’ve talked to people who balk at going there because they don’t like the idea of being so remote.)

The Faroes definitely pique my sense of adventure, but as I mentioned above, it’s also perfectly possible to have a very relaxing, serene time there even amidst all the scenery and weather. I’m just so happy that Justine and I took the plunge and went to the Faroes on our last trip, since it’s a destination that keeps on giving even on repeat trips.

That being said, I don’t want to give the impression that you’ll miss out if you don’t spend a week here. Even if you’re tacking a couple days onto a trip to Iceland or Denmark, I guarantee you’ll get your money’s worth.

(I guess I should mention the whaling before I wrap this up, since every article I’ve ever seen about the Faroes that doesn’t mention the whaling is besieged by comments asking WHAT ABOUT THE WHALING?! Whaling exists in the Faroe Islands, and it is done in a very brutal, grisly manner in full view of whoever wants to see. They don’t hide it in a cove like in Taiji, but if you’ve seen The Cove, you get the idea. I’m not interested in getting into a debate about it, except to note that the Faroese don’t hunt endangered species, and the amount per year that the kill is a tiny fraction of a percentage of the overall population. I also think it’s patently ridiculous to shun an entire country because some people in that country engage in behavior that you find abhorrent. I guess I’m kind of confused how the whaling is often given as this huge overarching reason not to visit the Faroe Islands when here in the US, horrific animal torture is a cornerstone of our agricultural industry. I mean shit, as a vegetarian/vegan, if I refused to travel to countries that treated animals in a way that wasn’t consistent with my values, I’d have to live alone on an island.)

Have you been to the Faroes? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments. If you have any Faroe-related questions, I’m happy to answer them too, since I’m such an amazing expert and everything. (In reality, I just like talking about this place — as you could probably tell from this post — so I wouldn’t mind continuing the conversation over email.)

 

 

Yesterday I posted one of the longest articles I’ve ever written, reviewing British Airways first class. However, despite the exhaustive review and scores of glistening photos, all anyone wanted to talk about in the comments was my little USB fan. I bring the fan with me any time I’m flying an airline that has no individual air vents, since I’m almost always too warm. Given the interest in the fan, I thought it warranted its own post.

This is also a good opportunity to chastise airlines for opting not to install individual vents, since there’s literally no reason not to at least give passengers the option to be cold. I’ve read that it’s mostly due to cultural differences, since ubiquitous air conditioning is much less common in Europe and Asia than in the US, and people are generally more comfortable being warm than Americans are. However, that’s still not a reason to omit the vents, since the vents only cool one specific passenger, not the entire plane. If everyone on the plane except one person wants to sit and stew in their own sweat, allowing that one person to enjoy a blast of cold air isn’t going to disrupt anyone else.

Also, as a perpetually warm person, I feel like I have to repeat this over and over again: YOU CAN ALWAYS PUT A BLANKET ON IF YOU’RE COLD, BUT YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ONCE YOU’RE TOO HOT. People who complain about being cold are really just complaining about forgetting to bring adequate insulation with them. People who complain about being too hot are rightly frustrated that there’s nothing they can do to get comfortable, so their complaints are more meaningful.

So about my fan: it’s called the “Arctic Breeze”, which wildly overclaims its effectiveness. I’ve paired it with an Anker Astro E1 portable power supply, which provides hours and hours of arctic breezes on one charge.

As you can see in the photo, the power supply is flat enough that you can set it on a table with the gooseneck bent up so the fan blows right at you. However, since there’s no guard around the fan blades, you’ll want to hold it in your hand for safety’s sake if there’s any turbulence at all.

Does it work? It depends how hot you are. I tried using and after running to catch a train in Switzerland while lugging a heavy suitcase, and it did almost nothing. It was probably 90 degrees outside and roughly double that inside the train, and I was so overheated that anything short of an ice bath wasn’t going to help out that much. However, on my British Airways flight, I was a little warm but not uncomfortably hot, and the fan did make a pretty big difference.

If I ever fly on an Asian airline, I’m going to need some heavier artillery, since I have a feeling those planes will be swelteringly hot, rather than just a few shades warmer than ideal. In that case, I’d probably go with something like this, since the clip attachment system lends itself well to the plane environment. I don’t love the amount of room it would take up in my carry-on, but the degree to which I hate being too hot more than justifies the downside of carrying something like this around in my backpack.

Finally, I should give credit to aviation and #PaxEx superjournalist John Walton, who frequently chides ventless airlines, and whose Twitter account alerted me to the Arctic Breeze + Anker combo in the first place. If you aren’t following him on all platforms, you should be… however, he has thousands of followers, so it’s much more likely that you follow him and have never heard of me.

Okay, now that all this fan business has been addressed, I can get back to the slew of posts that have been piling up over the last couple weeks. I hope I’ve satisfied your hunger for all things fan, and feel free to leave additional fan suggestions/ideas in the comments.

Since you read this far, maybe you want to consider supporting this blog? I’m committed to keeping it ad-free, so reader support makes a huge difference!

Earlier this week, I flew from London to San Jose in British Airways first class, and hot damn was it a great flight. My expectations had been thoroughly tempered by years of hearing “it’s more like a really good business class” over and over again, so I was mostly hoping to be pleasantly surprised, and I most certainly was. Here is my review of the experience, completely with FIFTY SEVEN photos. That’s right, I was “that guy” with the camera, all so I could win your approval with this comprehensive review. My day began at the Sofitel in Heathrow terminal 5, and since I neglected to take a single photo there, I’ll just offer this by way of review: it’s expensive but fancy enough to (somewhat) justify the price. It didn’t blow me away, but it was perfectly comfortable for a night, and the location was really what I was paying for more than anything else. Aside from the price, there’s no reason to avoid it if you want to stay close to LHR on a layover.

From there I got to breeze through security via BA’s newish First wing, although I was slightly annoyed that it was at the far opposite end of the terminal from the hotel. Oh well, my fat ass could use some extra steps.

It’s not a dedicated terminal, but the wing is still pretty fancy. The agent checking us in pointed us toward the automated security gates and explained how to get to the Concorde Room from there. There was almost no one at security, and the whole thing took under five minutes.

Okay, so the Concorde Room. Why people rag on this lounge so hard is beyond me. I loved it. I had a really tasty sandwich, chillaxed on a giant day bed while watching 747s and A380s take off, drank some high end whisky, ate some more food because I was pretty sure the food on the plane would be gross, and then left the lounge to go shopping while Justine enjoyed the shit out of her “Firm up and Fly” facial at the Elemis spa. I’m to understand the decor has been updated recently, so perhaps the images in this slideshow will show you a side of the Concorde Room you’ve never seen before.

And here’s the terrace, which is outside in the terminal (but up a level, to remind you that you’re literally above everyone else in the airport). It would be cool to have an actual outdoor terrace, but it was pretty cold in London, so I didn’t mind being indoors. The terrace has incredible views of the runway, so you can see all the heavies right as they rotate skyward. It’s pretty neat. (Sorry that my finger is partially covering one of the photos. Amateur hour, amirite?)

 

Oh, I also took a photo of that sandwich I told you about. Goddamn it was tasty. I want another one.

I didn’t get to enjoy the sit-down dining area, since all the booths were full when we got there. That’s okay, though, since I loved my day bed and was happy to spend most of my time in the lounge there.

One pretty glaring deficiency is the bathroom facilities. The fixtures are fine, but the decor is hideous. It’s the kind of thing you’d find at a hospital, and not a very nice hospital. I’m surprised they renovated all the seating fixtures but left the bathrooms intact… we’re a far cry from the United Polaris lounge (my benchmark for nice bathrooms). I do appreciate that the bathrooms are individual rooms, though. I’d much rather have privacy while I’m doing my business than listen to the emissions of my fellow first class passengers while surrounded by pristine marble.

Shitty shitter aside, I genuinely enjoyed the Concorde Room. In fact, I’d say it takes the new top spot among my favorite lounges, although (as I’ll get to in more detail later), my limited basis for comparison definitely gives BA an advantage.

So onto the flight (finally). One area where I wish British Airways would improve is the ground service — unlike Air France and Lufthansa, which will drive you to the plane in a private car, BA leaves you to fend for yourself in the enormity of Terminal 5. Sure, they’ll drive you to the plane, but it’s not really the same…

Of course, the only benefit of leaving from a remote gate is getting to see a big plane up close, which I did appreciate.

After the cramped bus ride, I wasn’t super jazzed for the flight, but my tune changed as soon as I got on the plane. The cabin is beyond sleek — visually it’s by far the most impressive airline cabin I’ve ever seen. The seats on the 787-9 are the newest generation of BA’s first class seat, and I’m really glad I ended up choosing this configuration, since I loved everything about the seat.

Privacy is very good, too. There aren’t doors that close, but the walls of the suite wrap around in a way that mostly obscures the other passengers (but not in a claustrophobic way). This is the view looking out the “doorway” of my seat:

There’s also a ton of storage. You’ve got a coat closet (assuming you’re classy enough to wear a coat, which I wasn’t), a big storage compartment next to the coat closet, a mirrored compartment with internal dividers, and a smaller compartment next to the seat where the outlets are located.

Leg room is ample, obviously, but another nice feature is that the ottoman slides forward so you can still put your feet up when the seat is in the upright position.

A few minutes after I boarded, a flight attendant greeted me by name and introduced herself (I forgot her name because I’m a complete piece of shit). The cabin manager then came by separately to thank me for flying first class, after which the flight attendant brought over an amenity kit and some pajamas which were really comfortable. (I’m actually wearing the pajama pants right now as I write this review, although I only wore the shirt on the flight… and I was the only passenger to do so. I should clarify that I was wearing pants during the flight, just not the BA pajama pants.) Surprisingly, the size L shirt fit me (I’m normally an XL guy), but it was kind of short and also really wide. Still comfy, though. (Sorry, no selfie this time.)

(As an aside, can I just say how annoyingly common it is to find shirts or jackets that are too wide and too short? Somewhere there’s a 325-pound dude who’s five-foot-four going around as a fit model for XL clothes, and if I ever see him, I’m going to strangle him as revenge for a lifetime of ill-fitting clothes.)

Here’s the amenity kit, which was fine. I don’t really care about branded toiletries, and the only thing I ever usually use is the eye mask and the lip balm. Justine informed me that the company that makes the outer bag is really famous, so there’s that. I actually prefer the look of the business class amenity kits, but I wasn’t going to be a dick and ask for one instead.

Pre-departure beverages were offered, but I stuck with water. I didn’t ask what type of champagne they had, because I don’t care about champagne.

Boarding was pretty quick, and soon we were off on the slowest taxi I’ve ever experienced. It felt like an elephant was pulling the plane down the taxiway, and it took a full 35 minutes from pushback to take-off roll. I did enjoy the traffic, since there were a bunch of airlines I’m not used to seeing (Iran Air, Thai, etc). We also passed a couple A380s, which made me wonder what might have been.

Shortly after takeoff, the flight attendant brought me a menu to look at, and I took a photo of every page because that’s what you do when you’re writing a review, I guess. Does anyone really read all this stuff?

The service on this flight was absolutely fantastic, by the way. The flight attendant working my side of the plane looked like she was just out of college, but she was super friendly and seemed really enthusiastic about her job. There were a bunch of little things I noticed throughout the flight, none of which were hugely important on their own, but over the course of eleven hours on the plane, they added up. For instance, when she brought me the menu, she confirmed my special meal and then proceeded to describe each dish. That’s the first time that has happened, and it was nice to know what to expect rather than having a mystery plate covered with foil plopped down on my tray.

Because it was a daytime flight, the meal service didn’t start for about an hour, although they proactively offered drinks as soon as we were airborne. I started with a Diet Coke and then kicked it up a notch and ordered a Johnnie Walker Blue Label. Somehow I had never tried it before, despite being an avid scotch drinker for ten years. In case you’re curious, it was fine although fairly bland, especially given the price. Still, I wasn’t exactly looking for some cask strength industrial paint stripper, so I didn’t mind.

So the flight was off to a good start. The seat was great, the service looked like it was going to be really good, the captain announced a mostly smooth flight, and I had some high-end whisky. However, it really kicked into high gear when the meal came out. The first course consisted of the dreaded cold roasted vegetables, but these were in a pesto sauce that was actually delicious. I’m not over my hatred of the concept of cold roasted vegetables, but this was about the best I could have hoped for.

Then the main course came out — a curry with plaintain and coconut shavings. Holy freaking god was this good. In fact, it may have been the best dish I ate on our entire vacation. (Oops, I forgot to photograph the bread before I ate it, but I bet you can imagine what it looked like.)

That weird blue drink you see in this photo is Schweppes Bitter Lemon, which is so goddamn good I kept ordering it throughout the flight. I finally drank all the cans they had in first class, so the delightful flight attendant went searching through the other galleys for another can of it for me. She didn’t find one and was way more apologetic than the situation warranted, which made me worried that it’s common for first class passengers to lose their shit when they don’t get their soda of choice.

Finally, my vegan meal included a fruit plate for dessert, but the flight attendant brought the menu back and asked if I wanted one of the non-vegan desserts too (which I clearly did). It was a chocolate thing, and it was fantastic.

I should also point out that Justine really enjoyed her lamb shank, and she’s the pickiest eater I’ve ever met. I can’t ever remember her saying she liked airline food, even in premium cabins. Honestly I’m a bit shocked she liked the food so much, but the fact that she did means that BA’s catering must be phenomenal.

After dinner, the flight attendant offered to make up my bed, which included a mattress pad as well as a thick blanket and an extra pillow. One nitpick about the seat is that it didn’t go completely flat, although it felt pretty close. I don’t know if this was an issue just with my seat, or if they’re designed that way to compensate for the plane’s nose-up position during the flight. Anyway, the bed was really comfortable, although I wasn’t able to sleep. I did have a relaxing time listening to music and watching the airshow, though.

The screen is enormous, by the way. I don’t have a TV at home and only really watch stuff on my computer, so it was kind of funny to be watching movies and TV shows in a larger format than I’m used to at home. Oh, and here’s a picture I took because it looks like it says “NORWEGIAN SEX” in the corner of the screen.

Because British Airways first class is so classy and elegant, I wanted to make sure my choice of viewing material was suitably high brow. That’s why I chose American Dad, since I can think of no more refined entertainment than a Seth Macfarlane cartoon.

The biggest negative about the flight was the lack of air vents, although I got a surprising amount of cooling from the little USB fan I bought after seeing that @thatjohn guy on Twitter recommend it.

In another example of excellent service, when the flight attendant saw my fan, she immediately offered to turn down the cabin temperature, which I really appreciated. While I hate it when the cabin is too warm, I also didn’t want to spoil it for anyone else who might have been comfortable… or at least I didn’t want to ask to spoil it for anyone else. Ergo, I was grateful she took the decision out of my hands.

Another example of great service: mid-flight, I was feeling peckish, so I inquired about the snack situation. She mentioned “crisps,” which sounded good, so I asked her to bring me a bag. She then came back a minute later with two flavors of chips as well as some caramel corn and a refill on my drink. Like I said before, this in itself doesn’t make or break a flight, but it was clear that she was trying to exceed my expectations at every step, which went a long way toward making it such a great flight.

With around 90 minutes left in the flight, it was time for meal number two, which consisted of a salad and a Thai curry that was pretty decent. It wasn’t as good as the main dinner course, but it was better than most in-flight meals I’ve had.

Shortly thereafter we landed in San Jose following a weirdly twisty approach, and so ended the best flight I’ve ever had.

So let’s get to the heart of the matter… was British Airways first class an actual first class experience, or was it just a nice business class? For the purposes of this review, I’m considering it alongside other European and American airlines, since I can’t imagine you’d ever be in a position where you were deciding whether to fly British Airways or Cathay Pacific. While I don’t have first-hand experience with any of them (aside from United Global First), I’ll go to the mat that the seat is comparable. It may not be as roomy down to the square inch, but it makes up for any deficiency in the spaciousness department by being so goddamn sleek and elegant. The polished surfaces, stitched leather accents, brushed metal, and quilted fabric all add up to one drop-dead gorgeous suite.

Also, unlike BA’s other first class seats, the 787-9 seat is open from edge-to-edge. While the A380 and especially the 747 seats taper toward the foot end like a standard reverse herringbone seat, the 787 seat is open underneath the shelf, which makes sleeping and lounging much more comfortable. To illustrate, I spread my legs as far apart as I could and took a picture. (“I spread my legs as far apart as I could and took a picture” is not something I should make a habit of writing.)

That’s a first-class leg spread right there, admit it. I recognize that the foot end isn’t as open as it is on Lufthansa/Air France/Swiss, but this seat has significantly more room than any other business class seat that I can think of.

As for food, I’m not the best judge of catering given my special meals, but again there are some pretty first-classy things about the meal I had. Take my fruit plate, for instance. See that dragon fruit? D-fruit is a first class fruit, no two ways about it.

Sure, the ground experience is lackluster, but I maintain that the Concorde Room is a really nice lounge that’s unfairly maligned. I’m sure that I would scoff at my praise of the Concorde Room after a few minutes in the SWISS first class lounge in Zurich, but it bears mentioning that no matter how good SWISS or Air France first class may be, you can’t book award seats on either. Ditto Lufthansa unless you have the flexibility to book last-minute.

So if the choice is between paying out the nose for SWISS or Air France or accepting a slightly worse experience on BA using miles, I’ll choose BA every time. I’ll admit again that some of my positive feelings toward British Airways stem from inexperience, but that’s okay. Most people aren’t professional reviewers who have experience with every international first class product, and for those people, I’m confident saying that British Airways first class (at least on the 787) is a clear step above any business class I’ve ever experienced.

I’m curious about others’ experience with British Airways first class. Am I nuts for rating it so highly? I’m certainly surprised at how much I liked it, but given the letdown that was KLM’s business class, it was great to end the trip with such an amazing flight.

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Earlier this week, I flew from London to San Jose in British Airways first class, and hot damn was it a great flight. My expectations had been thoroughly tempered by years of hearing “it’s more like a really good business class” over and over again, so I was mostly hoping to be pleasantly surprised, and I most certainly was. Here is my review of the experience, completely with FIFTY SEVEN photos. That’s right, I was “that guy” with the camera, all so I could win your approval with this comprehensive review.

My day began at the Sofitel in Heathrow terminal 5, and since I neglected to take a single photo there, I’ll just offer this by way of review: it’s expensive but fancy enough to (somewhat) justify the price. It didn’t blow me away, but it was perfectly comfortable for a night, and the location was really what I was paying for more than anything else. Aside from the price, there’s no reason to avoid it if you want to stay close to LHR on a layover.

From there I got to breeze through security via BA’s newish First wing, although I was slightly annoyed that it was at the far opposite end of the terminal from the hotel. Oh well, my fat ass could use some extra steps.

It’s not a dedicated terminal, but the wing is still pretty fancy. The agent checking us in pointed us toward the automated security gates and explained how to get to the Concorde Room from there. There was almost no one at security, and the whole thing took under five minutes.

Okay, so the Concorde Room. Why people rag on this lounge so hard is beyond me. I loved it. I had a really tasty sandwich, chillaxed on a giant day bed while watching 747s and A380s take off, drank some high end whisky, ate some more food because I was pretty sure the food on the plane would be gross, and then left the lounge to go shopping while Justine enjoyed the shit out of her “Firm up and Fly” facial at the Elemis spa. I’m to understand the decor has been updated recently, so perhaps the images in this slideshow will show you a side of the Concorde Room you’ve never seen before.

 

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And here’s the terrace, which is outside in the terminal (but up a level, to remind you that you’re literally above everyone else in the airport). It would be cool to have an actual outdoor terrace, but it was pretty cold in London, so I didn’t mind being indoors. The terrace has incredible views of the runway, so you can see all the heavies right as they rotate skyward. It’s pretty neat. (Sorry that my finger is partially covering one of the photos. Amateur hour, amirite?)

 

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Oh, I also took a photo of that sandwich I told you about. Goddamn it was tasty. I want another one.

I didn’t get to enjoy the sit-down dining area, since all the booths were full when we got there. That’s okay, though, since I loved my day bed and was happy to spend most of my time in the lounge there.

One pretty glaring deficiency is the bathroom facilities. The fixtures are fine, but the decor is hideous. It’s the kind of thing you’d find at a hospital, and not a very nice hospital. I’m surprised they renovated all the seating fixtures but left the bathrooms intact… we’re a far cry from the United Polaris lounge (my benchmark for nice bathrooms). I do appreciate that the bathrooms are individual rooms, though. I’d much rather have privacy while I’m doing my business than listen to the emissions of my fellow first class passengers while surrounded by pristine marble.

 

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Shitty shitter aside, I genuinely enjoyed the Concorde Room. In fact, I’d say it takes the new top spot among my favorite lounges, although (as I’ll get to in more detail later), my limited basis for comparison definitely gives BA an advantage.

So onto the flight (finally). One area where I wish British Airways would improve is the ground service — unlike Air France and Lufthansa, which will drive you to the plane in a private car, BA leaves you to fend for yourself in the enormity of Terminal 5. Sure, they’ll drive you to the plane, but it’s not really the same…

Of course, the only benefit of leaving from a remote gate is getting to see a big plane up close, which I did appreciate.

After the cramped bus ride, I wasn’t super jazzed for the flight, but my tune changed as soon as I got on the plane. The cabin is beyond sleek — visually it’s by far the most impressive airline cabin I’ve ever seen. The seats on the 787-9 are the newest generation of BA’s first class seat, and I’m really glad I ended up choosing this configuration, since I loved everything about the seat.

 

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Privacy is very good, too. There aren’t doors that close, but the walls of the suite wrap around in a way that mostly obscures the other passengers (but not in a claustrophobic way). This is the view looking out the “doorway” of my seat:

There’s also a ton of storage. You’ve got a coat closet (assuming you’re classy enough to wear a coat, which I wasn’t), a big storage compartment next to the coat closet, a mirrored compartment with internal dividers, and a smaller compartment next to the seat where the outlets are located.

 

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Leg room is ample, obviously, but another nice feature is that the ottoman slides forward so you can still put your feet up when the seat is in the upright position.

A few minutes after I boarded, a flight attendant greeted me by name and introduced herself (I forgot her name because I’m a complete piece of shit). The cabin manager then came by separately to thank me for flying first class, after which the flight attendant brought over an amenity kit and some pajamas which were really comfortable. (I’m actually wearing the pajama pants right now as I write this review, although I only wore the shirt on the flight… and I was the only passenger to do so. I should clarify that I was wearing pants during the flight, just not the BA pajama pants.) Surprisingly, the size L shirt fit me (I’m normally an XL guy), but it was kind of short and also really wide. Still comfy, though. (Sorry, no selfie this time.)

(As an aside, can I just say how annoyingly common it is to find shirts or jackets that are too wide and too short? Somewhere there’s a 325-pound dude who’s five-foot-four going around as a fit model for XL clothes, and if I ever see him, I’m going to strangle him as revenge for a lifetime of ill-fitting clothes.)

Here’s the amenity kit, which was fine. I don’t really care about branded toiletries, and the only thing I ever usually use is the eye mask and the lip balm. Justine informed me that the company that makes the outer bag is really famous, so there’s that. I actually prefer the look of the business class amenity kits, but I wasn’t going to be a dick and ask for one instead.

 

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Pre-departure beverages were offered, but I stuck with water. I didn’t ask what type of champagne they had, because I don’t care about champagne.

Boarding was pretty quick, and soon we were off on the slowest taxi I’ve ever experienced. It felt like an elephant was pulling the plane down the taxiway, and it took a full 35 minutes from pushback to take-off roll. I did enjoy the traffic, since there were a bunch of airlines I’m not used to seeing (Iran Air, Thai, etc). We also passed a couple A380s, which made me wonder what might have been.

Shortly after takeoff, the flight attendant brought me a menu to look at, and I took a photo of every page because that’s what you do when you’re writing a review, I guess. Does anyone really read all this stuff?

 

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The service on this flight was absolutely fantastic, by the way. The flight attendant working my side of the plane looked like she was just out of college, but she was super friendly and seemed really enthusiastic about her job. There were a bunch of little things I noticed throughout the flight, none of which were hugely important on their own, but over the course of eleven hours on the plane, they added up. For instance, when she brought me the menu, she confirmed my special meal and then proceeded to describe each dish. That’s the first time that has happened, and it was nice to know what to expect rather than having a mystery plate covered with foil plopped down on my tray.

Because it was a daytime flight, the meal service didn’t start for about an hour, although they proactively offered drinks as soon as we were airborne. I started with a Diet Coke and then kicked it up a notch and ordered a Johnnie Walker Blue Label. Somehow I had never tried it before, despite being an avid scotch drinker for ten years. In case you’re curious, it was fine although fairly bland, especially given the price. Still, I wasn’t exactly looking for some cask strength industrial paint stripper, so I didn’t mind.

So the flight was off to a good start. The seat was great, the service looked like it was going to be really good, the captain announced a mostly smooth flight, and I had some high-end whisky. However, it really kicked into high gear when the meal came out. The first course consisted of the dreaded cold roasted vegetables, but these were in a pesto sauce that was actually delicious. I’m not over my hatred of the concept of cold roasted vegetables, but this was about the best I could have hoped for.

Then the main course came out — a curry with plaintain and coconut shavings. Holy freaking god was this good. In fact, it may have been the best dish I ate on our entire vacation. (Oops, I forgot to photograph the bread before I ate it, but I bet you can imagine what it looked like.)

That weird blue drink you see in this photo is Schweppes Bitter Lemon, which is so goddamn good I kept ordering it throughout the flight. I finally drank all the cans they had in first class, so the delightful flight attendant went searching through the other galleys for another can of it for me. She didn’t find one and was way more apologetic than the situation warranted, which made me worried that it’s common for first class passengers to lose their shit when they don’t get their soda of choice.

Finally, my vegan meal included a fruit plate for dessert, but the flight attendant brought the menu back and asked if I wanted one of the non-vegan desserts too (which I clearly did). It was a chocolate thing, and it was fantastic.

I should also point out that Justine really enjoyed her lamb shank, and she’s the pickiest eater I’ve ever met. I can’t ever remember her saying she liked airline food, even in premium cabins. Honestly I’m a bit shocked she liked the food so much, but the fact that she did means that BA’s catering must be phenomenal.

After dinner, the flight attendant offered to make up my bed, which included a mattress pad as well as a thick blanket and an extra pillow. One nitpick about the seat is that it didn’t go completely flat, although it felt pretty close. I don’t know if this was an issue just with my seat, or if they’re designed that way to compensate for the plane’s nose-up position during the flight. Anyway, the bed was really comfortable, although I wasn’t able to sleep. I did have a relaxing time listening to music and watching the airshow, though.

The screen is enormous, by the way. I don’t have a TV at home and only really watch stuff on my computer, so it was kind of funny to be watching movies and TV shows in a larger format than I’m used to at home. Oh, and here’s a picture I took because it looks like it says “NORWEGIAN SEX” in the corner of the screen.

Because British Airways first class is so classy and elegant, I wanted to make sure my choice of viewing material was suitably high brow. That’s why I chose American Dad, since I can think of no more refined entertainment than a Seth Macfarlane cartoon.

The biggest negative about the flight was the lack of air vents, although I got a surprising amount of cooling from the little USB fan I bought after seeing that @thatjohn guy on Twitter recommend it.

In another example of excellent service, when the flight attendant saw my fan, she immediately offered to turn down the cabin temperature, which I really appreciated. While I hate it when the cabin is too warm, I also didn’t want to spoil it for anyone else who might have been comfortable… or at least I didn’t want to ask to spoil it for anyone else. Ergo, I was grateful she took the decision out of my hands.

Another example of great service: mid-flight, I was feeling peckish, so I inquired about the snack situation. She mentioned “crisps,” which sounded good, so I asked her to bring me a bag. She then came back a minute later with two flavors of chips as well as some caramel corn and a refill on my drink. Like I said before, this in itself doesn’t make or break a flight, but it was clear that she was trying to exceed my expectations at every step, which went a long way toward making it such a great flight.

With around 90 minutes left in the flight, it was time for meal number two, which consisted of a salad and a Thai curry that was pretty decent. It wasn’t as good as the main dinner course, but it was better than most in-flight meals I’ve had.

Shortly thereafter we landed in San Jose following a weirdly twisty approach, and so ended the best flight I’ve ever had.

So let’s get to the heart of the matter… was British Airways first class an actual first class experience, or was it just a nice business class? For the purposes of this review, I’m considering it alongside other European and American airlines, since I can’t imagine you’d ever be in a position where you were deciding whether to fly British Airways or Cathay Pacific. While I don’t have first-hand experience with any of them (aside from United Global First), I’ll go to the mat that the seat is comparable. It may not be as roomy down to the square inch, but it makes up for any deficiency in the spaciousness department by being so goddamn sleek and elegant. The polished surfaces, stitched leather accents, brushed metal, and quilted fabric all add up to one drop-dead gorgeous suite.

Also, unlike BA’s other first class seats, the 787-9 seat is open from edge-to-edge. While the A380 and especially the 747 seats taper toward the foot end like a standard reverse herringbone seat, the 787 seat is open underneath the shelf, which makes sleeping and lounging much more comfortable. To illustrate, I spread my legs as far apart as I could and took a picture. (“I spread my legs as far apart as I could and took a picture” is not something I should make a habit of writing.)

That’s a first-class leg spread right there, admit it. I recognize that the foot end isn’t as open as it is on Lufthansa/Air France/Swiss, but this seat has significantly more room than any other business class seat that I can think of.

As for food, I’m not the best judge of catering given my special meals, but again there are some pretty first-classy things about the meal I had. Take my fruit plate, for instance. See that dragon fruit? D-fruit is a first class fruit, no two ways about it.

Sure, the ground experience is lackluster, but I maintain that the Concorde Room is a really nice lounge that’s unfairly maligned. I’m sure that I would scoff at my praise of the Concorde Room after a few minutes in the SWISS first class lounge in Zurich, but it bears mentioning that no matter how good SWISS or Air France first class may be, you can’t book award seats on either. Ditto Lufthansa unless you have the flexibility to book last-minute.

So if the choice is between paying out the nose for SWISS or Air France or accepting a slightly worse experience on BA using miles, I’ll choose BA every time. I’ll admit again that some of my positive feelings toward British Airways stem from inexperience, but that’s okay. Most people aren’t professional reviewers who have experience with every international first class product, and for those people, I’m confident saying that British Airways first class (at least on the 787) is a clear step above any business class I’ve ever experienced.

I’m curious about others’ experience with British Airways first class. Am I nuts for rating it so highly? I’m certainly surprised at how much I liked it, but given the letdown that was KLM’s business class, it was great to end the trip with such an amazing flight.

Since you read this far, maybe you want to consider supporting this blog? I’m committed to keeping it ad-free, so reader support makes a huge difference!

 

Update: see part two of this post here.

Sometimes I forget that not everyone who reads this blog comes here all glassy-eyed after reading every other churning resource on the web, so let me quickly recap some stuff that may not be common knowledge to all readers:

• American Express generally won’t give you a sign-up bonus on a card if you’ve ever held that particular card before.
• Most churners have or have had the Amex Platinum card at one point.
• Amex offers different “flavors” of the Platinum card that are aligned with their co-brand partners (Mercedes Benz, Morgan Stanley, Charles Schwab, Ameriprise, and so on).
• Each flavor is considered a separate product, so you can kinda sorta earn the bonus on the Platinum card multiple times if you cycle through each one.
• (I’m speculating here) Amex is going to stop doing this at some point, so I want to cycle through as many as I can before they start considering all the versions of the Platinum card as a single product.

So far, I’ve had the basic Platinum as well as the Mercedes and Schwab versions, and each one offers its own unique benefit. (I’ve written before about the Schwab “Invest with Rewards” benefit, which can be very strategically useful.) However, with my Membership Rewards balance depleted, I’m looking for my next big windfall, and my attention has turned to the Platinum card for Morgan Stanley clients. It doesn’t hurt that the Morgan Stanley version includes a free authorized user, which is a great upgrade over the standard Platinum (which charges $175 for the first three authorized users).

There’s one problem, though: Morgan Stanley doesn’t just hand out brokerage accounts. See, a lot of what I do as a churner involves play-acting as a rich asshole (when in reality I’m just a normal asshole). Holding a Platinum card when my income is like 1/5th of the average income for Platinum cardholders (I’m guessing) is an example, as is planning vacations around luxury travel in the first place. The Schwab Platinum card has a special incentive for people that have over $1,000,000 invested, and I have a feeling that those people are the ones that Amex/Schwab is wooing with all the fancy benefits, not the guy in a dilapidated rat-infested apartment in Emeryville, CA.

Sometimes, though, I run into reality checks that some of these products really aren’t meant for me. The Morgan Stanley card is a good example, since I don’t have nearly enough money to start a brokerage account with a real live financial advisor who I pay thousands of dollars to gamble all my money, regardless of whether they win or lose.

However. Morgan Stanley has a new investing platform called Access Investing that’s a downmarket version of their flagship managed accounts. Basically, instead of a financial advisor, you fill out a questionnaire based on your goals and risk tolerance, and Morgan’s algo spits out an equity mix that’s perfectly matched to you. (Fancy that.) Now, lest you not trust the algorithm, they’re happy to remind you that “behind our smart algorithms are our smart people,” which is a delightful tautology that overlooks the fact that Morgan’s smart people marched their investors like cows to slaughter during the financial crisis.

In exchange for automating your portfolio, Morgan only asks you for a $5000 minimum investment and a 0.35% annual management fee. (For those that snort derisively at any management fee at all, check your Acorns account.)

This isn’t a personal finance blog (god help you if you thought it was, you poor bastard), so I’m not going to offer judgment on Access Investing. To be totally honest, I’m curious about it. I don’t invest tons of money in the stock market, but I’m theoretically open to taking $5000 out of my brokerage account with Schwab and giving Morgan’s smart algorithm a shot with it. The fun thing about investing is that everyone thinks that every method of investing aside from their own specific strategy is fucking idiotic. You know a guy who only invests in market tracking funds because the market as a whole always beats individual stocks, you moron. And a lady who only invests in dividend aristocrats because why invest in something that doesn’t pay you income, you simpleton? And a 19 year-old who only buys tech stocks because “tech is the future and so it’s literally impossible for tech to be overvalued, you [insult that’s current with today’s 19 year-olds].” Oh and cryptocurrency or whatever, you blockchain.

So I’m not going to try to convince you that Access Investing is a good or a bad option, since I’m woefully unqualified to do so. My one pearl of wisdom, which should go without saying, is that you should never make serious financial decisions or move money into non-FDIC insured accounts based on the possibility of reward points.

Assuming you’re open to gambling $5k on Morgan Stanley’s automatic trading platform, does Access Investing represent an “eligible brokerage account” in Amex’s eyes? It’s unclear to me, since Amex’s terms are pretty vague and were almost certainly written before Access Investing was rolled out.

I was curious to get more info, so I called the general contact number for Access Investing, pressed 1 for more info, and after sitting on hold for a while, I reached a friendly person and had a conversation that approximates the following:

Her: [fumbling nose] “Morgan Stanley, this is _______.”
Me: “Hi, I have a question about the Access Investing Platform.”
Her: “Are you a Morgan Stanley employee?”
Me: “Uhh, no, I’m a customer… I called the general contact line and pressed 1 for more info, but maybe I reached the wrong department?”
Her: “I guess not… There is a department for them, but they’re in Tampa, so they’re all gone by now. I can help you. What’s your question?”
Me: “Okay, so this is kind of an arcane question, but I was wondering if Access Investing is considered an eligible brokerage account in terms of the Morgan Stanley American Express cards.”
Her: “Oh, that’s a good question. Hmm… Can I put on on a brief hold?”
Me: “GODDAMN IT NO TELL ME NOW!” (Just kidding, I’m polite as fuck.)
Her: [after hold] “Thanks for holding. So I checked, and we’re not offering those cards to Access investors at this time. Just like how Access investors don’t get paper checks.”
Me: “Okay, that makes sense — since Access is all automated, it’s not considered a brokerage account the same way as a full service account would be?”
Her: “No, it’s a brokerage account, just not one that has the full suite of Morgan Stanley features, which includes the American Express credit cards.”
Me: [thanks, pleasantries, hangs up.]

So that should be the end of it, right? I wish. I’m still curious, since some of what she said seemed open to further interpretation. For instance, it’s Amex who verifies the existence of the Morgan Stanley account, and Amex’s terms seem to include all brokerage accounts except the specific ones they exclude. I understand that Access is a limited platform and all that, but it’s still stuck in my head that this might be a gray area where Morgan Stanley doesn’t intend for Access investors to get the Amex cards, but Amex doesn’t know the difference and issues them anyway.

I did open an Access account, but I haven’t funded it yet. I’m still doing my own due diligence on whether I want to invest $5000 this way, and I’m trying to be disciplined in removing all Amex-related upside from my decision calculus. If I do move forward, I’ll definitely apply for the Platinum card, but if anyone else (especially someone who’s already on the Access platform) wants to be a guinea pig, I’m sure the churning community will reward you with bushels of Reddit upvotes.

Update: When I wrote this review a few days ago, I completely forgot to point out one of the most important features of this plane, which is that KLM has included individual air vents. Given that the cabin temperature was around 1000 degrees, the vents made a huge difference, and every plane that doesn’t have them is a piece of crap. Okay now on to the review…

I’ve been lusting after KLM business class for almost as long as I’ve been into churning. I realize it’s mostly considered a middle-of-the-pack product, but I think my affinity for the Netherlands plus my obsession with KLM’s visual design has given it special importance in my mind. A couple weeks ago, I finally got to fly it, and to put it bluntly, it didn’t live up to my expectations. However, in fairness to KLM, it would have needed to be a pretty damn good flight, given how (unrealistically) high my expectations were.

Backing up, I originally booked the flight almost a year ago using Flying Blue miles transferred from Citi, Chase, and Amex. Since availability on the SFO-AMS route isn’t great, I pulled the trigger on a date that was a few weeks earlier than what we had originally planned, and it ended up biting me in the ass in the form of some really terrible winter weather. A few months after I booked, KLM canceled the flight (I’m not sure why — SFO-AMS is a daily frequency for them, so it’s unclear why they canceled the flight on one specific day around nine months in advance). They rebooked us on the flight a day earlier and even kept our seat assignments, despite there being no saver availability on the new date. I suppose I could have tried to get them to cover our hotel for the extra night or something, but I figured that they’d just tell me I could cancel the flight for free if I didn’t like it. Still, I probably should have asked.

Finally, the day arrived, and we headed to the airport a little early in case there were any delays at security (or on the Bay Bridge, which there were). Because we had extra time, we got to hang out in the underwhelming Air France lounge in the SFO international terminal. The lounge isn’t that bad — it’s actually pretty nice for a Priority Pass lounge, but if I had spent several thousand dollars on a business class flight, I would have wanted something a little nicer. The main benefit of the lounge is the excellent tarmac views of the international terminal A gates. The lounge itself is bright and has pretty decent food and alcohol, but the seating is uncomfortable and it gets crowded. When we were there, most of the clientele was waiting for a China Eastern flight, although with an Air France A380 also getting ready to leave, most of the seats were taken.

I got up to wander around the terminal a little, and I found a pretty cool display of vintage travel posters in the hallway one level up from the lounge (which is where the JAL and Cathay Pacific lounges are located). I know most people wouldn’t go out of their way to find these posters, but I have a huge soft spot for vintage travel ads, so I was happy to stumble upon them.

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On the 787, KLM has installed reverse herringbone seats that look like a slightly narrower version of the new business class on Air France’s 777s. It’s a perfectly fine product, but I didn’t find it all that spacious. One thing about it that annoyed me is that there is a leg cubby instead of the normal foot cubby, meaning the seat itself doesn’t have a leg rest that raises up when you recline. Instead, the seat slides forward to meet the leg cubby, which is much less comfortable when the seat is in relaxation mode. For a nighttime flight where you’re going straight to sleep, that may be fine, but this flight was from 2:00PM to 12:30AM pacific time, so I didn’t plan to spend much of it sleeping.

Things I did appreciate: the storage compartment is very useful, especially since this seat design doesn’t have much storage space otherwise. When I flew a very similar seat on Delta’s A330, the lack of storage space was a major annoyance, so it’s good that KLM has addressed this. Also, the seat is comfortable to sit on, so I wasn’t wishing for more padding or anything. And while I wasn’t a fan of the leg cubby in general, there’s plenty of foot room. Here are some pictures of the cabin, including the “sunset” and “sunrise” mood lighting modes that do jack shit to alleviate jet lag, as well as a pretty sweet selfie in the mirror of the storage compartment…

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I should admit that I really didn’t feel very well on the flight, and I think that colored my impression of it. For instance, I felt like the seat was pretty narrow for sleeping, but Justine, who is usually more critical than I am, thought it was fine. Neither of us liked the food very much, though. As usual, I had the vegan meal, and as usual, it totally sucked. So far United and SWISS are the two airlines who have done vegan meals best, and I was hoping for another winner from KLM. Unfortunately, they started off with cold roasted vegetables (who the fuck eats cold roasted vegetables???), and then they transitioned into warm roasted vegetables. The main course wasn’t actually that bad, but my stomach was already slightly turned from the disgusting appetizer. The mini apple tart for dessert was quite good, though (although it wasn’t remotely vegan — sorry PETA).

Things really went off the rails with breakfast, which was mostly steamed vegetables plus a rock hard (non-vegan) croissant, some dry-ass crudité, and a decent fruit plate. I ate most of the carrots, but the ones toward the bottom were swimming in mushroom and asparagus juice and made me want to barf. As you may have gathered by now, I’m not a strict vegan, so I’m wondering if I should just roll the dice with one of the normal meals in the future and eat around the meat and cheese. I feel like there are enough vegan/vegetarian people out there that airlines could put a little more effort into their veg meals (like SWISS does), or just serve some goddamn Indian food, which is nearly impossible to screw up (like United does).

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The presentation is pretty cool, though, with little clogs for the salt and pepper shakers, delftware plates, and flatware designed by the master of whimsy himself, Marcel Wanders. I also think it’s neat that they print up a new menu for each flight, even though I can’t imagine it changes that much from day to day.

The entertainment on the flight was pretty good — I watched a couple movies but mostly just listened to music while watching the airshow. The screen looks good, and you can also watch something separately on the handheld controller, which I would have done if my controller wasn’t broken. In fact, for a fairly new plane (14 months old), the “hard product” was awfully janky. The screen didn’t click back into the dock very cleanly, and mine kept popping out while we were taxiing. The armrest can be lowered in order to widen the sleeping surface, but it caught on the way down and needed to be forced/pounded into place. A piece of the seat kept popping off as well, and the blue panel around the shell was detaching from Justine’s seat.

KLM has done a predictably great job with the design, and the cabin and seat finishes are undeniably smart-looking. I’m just surprised how rough around the edges it is after only a year in service — I can’t imagine how threadbare it’s going to look in a couple more years.

Finally, I should mention the service, which was good. It’s very Dutch, which is to say that the staff are polite and businesslike but not subservient — which I’m actually much more comfortable with. I like to think I’m not very demanding, but I did notice that the flight attendant working my aisle came back a few times to refill my water once she realized that I drink constantly. I also thought it was a nice touch for the purser to come through the cabin and greet each passenger individually, especially since the cabin was completely full.

Overall, it got me across the ocean in a bed, and that’s the main thing I require from long haul business class. The novelty of laying down flat and having that much space on a plane still hasn’t worn off for me, and as long as the product I’m flying provides me with a flat surface, it’s going to get a B+ or better. B+ is probably where I’d leave KLM, though. The positives (nice service, excellent design and cabin finishes, all-aisle access) were brought down by the disgusting food, janky hardware, and somewhat below-average comfort.

Where would I rank it? Probably on par with Delta’s A330, actually. Some things, like the storage space, were much better, although I think the Delta seat was actually more comfortable. It makes sense, since they’re both SkyTeam partners, I guess. I do want to try this product on Air France, though, since the extra width of the 777 would probably address some of my concerns about the lack of spaciousness for sleeping.

Oh, and I got two KLM houses, which was exciting given how much I fetishize little trinkets like that. (And speaking of trinkets, Justine loved the design of her amenity kit, so that was a bonus as well.)

I could go into more detail about the individual contents of the amenity kit, the wine list, blah blah blah… but I think this review is long enough already, and you probably get the point. KLM is fine, don’t go out of your way to avoid it, but probably don’t build it up as much in your head as I did, or you’ll be disappointed.

Since you read this far, maybe you want to consider supporting this blog? I’m committed to keeping it ad-free, so reader support makes a huge difference!